FORREST GUMP GOES TO HEAVEN

FORREST GUMP GOES TO HEAVEN



 The day finally arrived.
Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven.. 
He is at the Pearly Gates,
met by St. Peter himself.
     
 However, the gates are closed, 
And Forrest approaches the gatekeeper. 

St. Peter said, ‘Well, Forrest,
 
It is certainly good to see you.
We have heard a lot about you.     
I must   tell you, though,
that the place is filling up fast, 
  
And we have been administering   
An entrance examination for everyone.      
 The test is short, but you have to 
Pass it before you can get into Heaven.’ 

Forrest responds,
‘It sure is
 good to be here, St. Peter, sir.     
 But nobody ever told me about any entrance 
Exam.  I sure hope that the test ain’t too hard.  
 Life was a big enough test 
As it was.’ 

St. Peter continued, ‘Yes, I
  know, Forrest,
but the test is only three questions.
 

  
First: 
What two days of the week 
Begin with the letter T? 

  
Second: 
How many seconds are there in a year? 

  
Third: 
What is God’s first name?’ 

Forrest leaves to think the questions
 over.     
 He returns the next day and sees St. Peter,
who waves him up, and
says, ‘Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over,  
Tell me your answers.’ 

Forrest replied, ‘Well, the First one — which two days in the week begins with the letter ‘T’? 
Shucks, that one is easy.  
That would be Today and Tomorrow.’
 

The Saint’s eyes opened wide and
  he exclaimed, ‘Forrest, that is not what I was thinking,
but you do
 have a point, and I guess I did not specify, so I will give you credit for that answer.  How about the next one?’ asked St. Peter. 

‘How many seconds in a year?
 
Now that one is harder,’ replied Forrest,
‘but I thunk and thunk about
 that, and I guess the only answer can be twelve.’ 

Astounded, St. Peter said, ‘Twelve?
 
Twelve?  Forrest, how in Heaven’s name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?’ 

Forrest replied, ‘Shucks, there’s
  got to be twelve: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd… ‘ !
‘Hold it,’ interrupts St.
 Peter. 
   ‘I see where you are going with this,
and I see your point,
   though that was not quite what I had in mind…. but I will have to give you credit for that one, too.     
 Let us go on with the third and final question. 
Can you tell me God’s first name’? 

‘Sure,’ Forrest replied,
 
‘it’s Andy.’ 

‘Andy?’ exclaimed an exasperated
 
And frustrated St Peter. 

‘Ok, I can understand how you
 came up with your answers to my first two questions,   
 But just how in the world did you come up with the name Andy as the first name of God?’

‘Shucks, that was the easiest  one of all!,’ Forrest replied.  ‘I learnt it from the song, 
ANDY WALKS WITH ME, 
ANDY TALKS WITH ME, 
ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN.’ 

St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates,
 
And said: ‘Run, Forrest, run.’ 

  

  
 Lord, Give me a sense of humor!
Give me the ability to understand a clean joke.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: