I receive these sex text messages

☻sex is good sex is funny many people fuck for money
but if you think sex is funny fuck yourself and safe your money

☻What sexual position do you have to be in to make the most ugliest kid?…. ask your parents

☻What 2 things in the air can make a girl pregnant? HER FEET

☻A train is bout 2 crash!A frantic virgin strips off & says “can any1 make me feel like a woman b4 i die?” So a man takes off his clothes & says “iron these!”

☻Wots da closest thing to a womans period? ur salary! It cums once a month.lasts About 3 or 4 days & if it doesnt cum every1s in trouble!

☻Old chinese proverb says “man with erection walking through door sideways is always going to Bangkok”

☻Virginity is like a balloon one prick and it’s gone forever!

☻Sex is like a pack of Pringles! Once you pop you can’t stop!!

☻Mary’s Lambs
Mary had 2 little lambs their names were Jack and Gypsy. One day they got foot and mouth and now they’re black andcrispy.

Group of sheep in field, one says i dont feel well. The others reply shut the fuck up your get us all shot.

Your teeth are so yellow, ican’t believe it’s not butter!!!

☻Condom factory
Your birthcertificate is an apology letter from thecondom factory.

☻Yo Mama
Yo mama’s so ugly, even the elephant man paid to see her.

☻Mary Stinks
Mary had a smelly minge with pubes as dark ascharcoal.So most the men go round the back and stick it up her arsehole!

☻Mary’s Duck
mary had a little lamb she also had a duck, she put them on the mantlepiece to see if they would fuck!

whats the difference between a mini tampon..a middle tampon and a large tampon?….they r all stuck upcunts!

☻Sex is like Maths
sex is like maths: Add the bed, subtractclothes, divide the legs…

☻How to satisfy a woman
HOW 2 SATISFY A WOMAN;caress, excite,cuddle, fascinate, spoil, kiss, rub, tease, pamper,console, worship, respect & love.HOW 2 SATISFY A MAN; blow job

☻Life is like a dick
Life is like a dick! When it’s hard Fuck it!

Zippy & Bungle,went 2 da jungle havin sum marvelous fun, Zippy got silly,popped out his willy & stuck it up Bungles bum!

☻Love & War
LETS PLAY WAR!! You lay down and i’ll blow the shit out of you!

☻Little Girl
When i was a girl,i had a little quim,i sat upon my bed & put a finger in,now im a woman & full of grace &charm,Ican get 4fingers in & HALF MY FUCKIN ARM!!

☻Virginity is like a balloon
Virginity is like a balloon, one prick and it’s gone forever!


SEX is My Fav. I Do it regularly. Do it & Feel Gd! U’ll enjoy it! I’ll Die w/out SEX, S-Sleep, E-Eat, X-xercise, So do it everiday, gd for u.


Press down… down more… Ok more… YES ahh ohh yes… almost there… yeah oh shit harder… SO GOOD…! mmmmm… That’s how I sex on text!


The Police are looking for a suspect who is smart, sexy, witty & very good looking… So where are you gonna hide Me?


When a man talks dirty to a woman, it’s sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it’s $3.95 per minute.


Love is a name, Sex is a game. Forget the name and play the game!


Sex is a sensation caused by temptation when a man puts his location in a woman’s destination. Do u get my explanation, or do u need a demonstration?!


MONEY: can buy a house, but not a HOME. can buy a clock, but not TIME. can buy sex, but not LOVE. So pass me all ur $ n let me suffer 4 U


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