Posts Tagged ‘sex’

Healthy Sex Tips

Healthy Sex Tips

The plight of the typical young man isn’t the inability to have sex; it’s usually the inability to find someone to have sex with.

Fact is, though, if you think you don’t have to worry about erectile dysfunction (ED) until your hair starts to turn grey, think again. Even in your early 20s, chances are your arteries are already undergoing changes that may culminate years from now in ED.

Fundamentally, erection depends on blood flow into the penis. The more blood, the more reliable and firm your erection. But when arteries become narrowed by cholesterol-rich atherosclerotic plaque deposits, less blood flows into the penis and erections wilt. This becomes apparent by the time a man hits 50.

Harvard researchers tracked 31,742 middle-aged men for 14 years and found that ED is strongly linked to lifestyle factors that spur the growth of atherosclerotic plaques: smoking, obesity, heavy drinking and lack of exercise.

But plaques don’t pop up out of nowhere when you hit 50. They start to develop in childhood. Autopsies of men killed in their late teens and 20s in accidents or in war consistently show the beginnings of atherosclerotic plaques, which means the beginning of ED.

Meanwhile, a healthy lifestyle keeps blood flowing freely through the arteries and preserves erection function. Healthy living doesn’t mean you’ll have the ability of legends at 90. But if you want to function sexually when you’re drawing your pension, you’d be wise to adopt a healthy lifestyle now. Here’s how:

Get regular, moderate exercise Exercise is crucial for arterial health and blood flow into the penis. Exercise lowers cholesterol, which minimizes the deposits (plaques) on artery walls that narrow them and reduce blood flow. A study of middle-aged men at the University of California, San Diego, shows that as regular, moderate exercise increased, erections become more reliable. ED-preventive exercise doesn’t require extreme sports, but rather the equivalent of brisk walking for about an hour a day. “No question about it”, says Hank Wuh, M.D., author of Sexual Fitness. “Regular exercise improves erection function and sex”.

Eat less meat, cheese and junk food, and more fruits and vegetablesMeat, cheese and junk food are high in saturated (animal) fat. Like cholesterol, this fat narrows the arteries, limiting blood flow to the penis. Fruits and vegetables, on the other hand, contain antioxidant nutrients that minimize plaques and improve arterial blood flow. Italian researchers identified 65 men with incipient ED and asked half of them to eat less meat and cheese, and more fruits and vegetables. After two years, those who maintained a high-fat diet continued to have erection difficulties. But those who increased their fruit and vegetable consumption reported significantly less ED.

Lose excess weight According to the Harvard study of middle-aged men, obesity is strongly associated with ED, and weight loss improves erection function. That’s not surprising. As we’ve seen, exercise and a diet low in saturated fat improve erections. They are also cornerstones of weight control. Studies at the Duke University Diet and Fitness Centre show that as men lose weight and become more physically active, they report better erections.

Stop smoking Cigarettes greatly accelerate the growth of artery-narrowing plaques. A study at the New England Research Institute in Watertown, Mass., shows that smoking almost doubles the risk of ED. Australian epidemiologist Christopher Millett, Ph.D., says, “Health promotion programmes should use the link between tobacco and ED to help convince men to quit smoking”.

Manage your stress Many young men feel like they have heavy weights on their shoulders. In one recent survey of 11,000 corporate workers internationally, 57% of the Indian respondents reported an increase in stress.

The biological result of this emotional stress: the release of two hormones (cortisol and adrenaline) that constrict arteries, reducing blood flow into the genitals.

The erection-firming antidote is an ongoing stress-management programme. Proven stress relievers include exercise — aerobic or non-aerobic (e.g., yoga) — meditation, music (playing or listening to), massage, laughter, hot baths, gardening, caring for a pet, visualization (of relaxing scenes) and quality time with friends, family or a lover. Incorporate one or more into your daily life, or even better, combine them: Exercise with friends or bathe with your girlfriend, for instance.

http://www.carryfitness.com/healthy-sex-tips/

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Why Sex Makes Us Women Moan

Why Sex Makes Us Women Moan

By Diane Driscoll September 17, 2010 11:00 AM
 

 

 
 
Why Sex Makes Us Women Moan
 

According to Lady Hillingdon in her 1912 journal entry, when doing the deed women are supposed to “lie back and think of England.” Husbands will have their way. And sex? Downgrade it to a wifely duty with no pleasure in it for us. Tsk tsk. And yet, women moaned and moaned and moaned…throughout every age.

On second thought, not so ladylike and more like the phrase “a whore in the bedroom”. But if women are supposed to be so coy about their libidos, why are we the only ones doing all the moaning, screaming, panting and yelling when the guys we are with are, for the most part, keeping mum?

It’s called FCV (Female Copulatory Vocalization) and it’s a conundrum to a lot of scientists. For most of history and still even today, sex has been considered private, sometimes “dirty”, and yet here we women are announcing our sexual pleasure for all the world (or at least our neighbors) to hear. And guess what? Female primates do it too. Now, in the minds of scientists, in terms of evolution, this doesn’t make sense for early woman or for female primates who share this trait with us. Say you’re said early human or a primate, like a baboon, who has sex on the ground and not in a tree…and there the female is getting busy and moaning up a storm. A loud and clear signal for predators that now is a good time to come and eat us…so why wasn’t this trait naturally selected out? A female baboon’s FCV call can be heard, even by the human ear, from 328 yards away. You go, baboon girl. And you’d think that would lead to a lot of dead early humans and primates, and scientists would agree.  Apparently the more promiscuous the species is, the more complex the FCV. Sadly us more monogomous humans have a relatively mundane FCV comparatively. But if you ask any red blooded human male, most likely he’d say what we’re doing is doing the trick.

So let’s agree we’re not so coy after all. We loves us some heart pumping, mind blowing, orgasm reaching, pelvic pumping sex just like men and we’re not afraid to let you know, even at risk of death by predator. So then what is the reasoning behind all that vocalization? A few theories come to mind…that it helps the male come to the ejaculatory phase…? Nah, most scientists cross this one out because in nature, turns out the primate males need no urging to ejaculate and it happens pretty quickly. I’m sure you’ve encountered this with a few human male counterparts too. No, what most scientist think is that it’s a call to other males, “Here I am…ready and willing, come have sex with me.” Women are broadcasting, whether we know it or not, that we want sex…we want to orgasm…we can have your babies. Nice strong babies that can be the survivors of the species. Because during orgasm, that’s when our FCVs intensify in volume and rate.

According to an article in Psychology Today, British primatologist Stuart Semple “recorded more than 550 copulation calls from seven different female baboons and…found that these complex vocalizations contained information related both to the female’s reproductive state (the vocalizations were more complex when females were closer to ovulation) and to the status of the male ‘inspiring’ any given vocalization (calls were longer and contained more distinct sonic units during matings with higher-ranked males). Thus, in these baboons at least, listening males could presumably gain information as to their likelihood of impregnating a calling female, as well as some sense of the rank of the male they’d find with her if they approached.” Does that mean we human females are also looking to trade up and will moan longer and louder with an alpha male?  And if so, imagine the noises Michelle Obama must be rockin’ the White House with now!

Of course, this brings to mind another interesting conundrum…why then do lesbians moan? Scientists? Lesbians?

http://webegirls.com/love-better-halves/sex/why-sex-makes-us-women-moan

7 Helpful Tips to Stop Binge Eating

7 Helpful Tips to Stop Binge Eating

by HENRIK EDBERG

 

Weight loss, the million dollar question, how do I lose weight? Well I got to ask you, how did you gain the weight in the first place?

Being overweight isn’t the real problem, it’s just a symptom of overeating. Forget dieting and exercising.

In order to lose weight and keep it off you need to get to the root of the problem. If you are overweight and are trying to just exercise or diet then you are trying to cover up your unconscious overeating with a bandage. Underneath the bandage the overeating habits will still be there. And even if you were to lose the weight, you won’t be able to keep it off unless you take a deep look at why you eat.

Binge eating is the most common overeating mechanism. Binge eating is simply eating too much food. Often people binge eat to deal with stress, fear, anger or other tough emotions. A common binge eating episode is eating a whole tub of ice-cream at the end of a stressful day. Another common binge eating episode is dieting and crashing. This was my biggest problem when it came to weight loss. I would diet extremely, eating too little, and I’d be able to keep it up for a few days. However on the 6th or 7th day I would crash, and binge eat – basically eating all the fatty sugary foods I’ve been avoiding.

Binge eating is something I personally dealt with for years. Which is why I wanted to give you 7 tips to stop binge eating, or avoid binge eating in the first place.

1. Do NOT diet.

Dieting doesn’t work. I’ve tried all the diets. I would be able to keep a diet up for a few days. But then I would have a day where I would crash, and binge eat. Rather than trying to diet to lose weight, try to slowly improve your eating habits. Instead of eating 5 junk foods a day, try eating 4 for the next 7 days. Once you have done that successfully then trying eating 3 junk foods for the next 7 days etc.

2. Eat fatty or sugary foods in controlled moderation.

Do not deprive yourself of foods you crave. Otherwise you will keep increasing your craving for that food. One day you will crash and binge on that food. Eat fatty and sugary foods you craved in controlled moderation. Control the portion size. It’s not a good idea to order a whole large pizza for yourself if you only plan on eating 2 slices. Rather it’s better to order a personal sized pizza.

3. Understand that weight loss is HARD.

Commercials for weight loss products make weight loss look so easy. It’s NOT. Loosing weight and keeping it off is one of the toughest goals one can achieve. However you can achieve it slowly over time. Trying to lose weight too quickly by eating very little or exercising for extremely long sessions will not work. It will lead you to crashing and binge eating.

4. Forgive yourself.

There will be days where you are too week to say no, and will binge eat. It’s ok, forgive yourself. Don’t let the feelings of guild creep in. Don’t try to be a perfectionist. You are NOT perfect. Rather forgive yourself, and move on. If you let feelings of guilt and disappointment creep in, you probably will feel overwhelmed, give up, and binge eat some more.

5. Tell a friend.

Tell a trusted close friend of family member about your binge eating or overeating habits. More often than not they will be very supportive. They will even ask you what they can do to help. Request that they ask you every now and then about your progress with improving your eating habits. This will help you stay accountable with your commitment to stop binge eating.

6. Read up on how to stop binge eating.

If you can’t stop binge eating, and this is a very serious problem for you then make a commitment to get it handled. Read everything you can find about the subject. You can start by reading many of the tips articles I have on my website How To Stop Eating.

7. Team up with others who are trying to stop binge eating.

 

http://www.positivityblog.com/index.php/2008/08/26/7-helpful-tips-to-stop-binge-eating/

40 Ways Men Fail in Bed

“40 Ways Men Fail in Bed” joke

Take notes, all you Casanovas…
1) NOT KISSING FIRST. Avoiding her lips and diving straight for the erogenous zones makes her feel like you’re paying by the hour and trying to get your money’s worth by cutting out non essentials. A properly passionate kiss is the ultimate form of foreplay.
2) BLOWING TOO HARD IN HER EAR. Admit it, some kid at school told you girls love this. Well, there’s a difference between being erotic and blowing as if you’re trying to extinguish the candles on your 50th birthday cake. That hurts.
3) NOT SHAVING. You often forget you have a porcupine strapped to your chin which you rake repeatedly across your partner’s face and thighs. When she turns her head from side to side, it’s not passion, it’s avoidance.
4) SQUEEZING HER BREAST. Most men act like a housewife testing a melon for ripeness when they get their hands on a pair. Stroke, caress, and smooth them.
5) BITING HER NIPPLES. Why do men fasten onto a woman’s nipples, then clamp down like they’re trying to deflate her body via her breasts? Nipples are highly sensitive. They can’t stand up to chewing. Lick and suck them gently. Flicking your tongue across them is good. Pretending they’re a doggie toy isn’t.
6) TWIDDLING HER NIPPLES. Stop doing that thing where you twiddle the nipples between finger and thumb like you’re trying to find a radio station in a hilly area. Focus on the whole breasts, not just the exclamation points.
7) IGNORING THE OTHER PARTS OF HER BODY. A woman is not a highway
with just three turnoffs: Breastville East and West, and the Midtown Tunnel. There are vast areas of her body which you’ve ignored far too often as you go bombing straight into downtown Vagina. So start paying them some attention.
8) GETTING THE HAND TRAPPED. Poor manual dexterity in the underskirt region can result in tangled fingers and underpants. If you’re going to be that aggressive, just ask her to take the damn things off.
9) LEAVING HER A LITTLE PRESENT. Condom disposal is the man’s responsibility. You wore it, you store it.
10) ATTACKING THE CLITORIS. Direct pressure is very unpleasant, so gently rotate your fingers along side of the clitoris.
11) STOPPING FOR A BREAK. Women, unlike men, don’t pick up where they left off. If you stop, they plummet back to square one very fast. If you can tell she’s not there, keep going at all costs, numb jaw or not.
12) UNDRESSING HER AWKWARDLY. Women hate looking stupid, but stupid she will look when naked at the waist with a sweater stuck over her head. Unwrap her like an elegant present, not a kid’s toy.
13) GIVING HER A WEDGIE DURING FOREPLAY. Stroking her gently through her panties can be very sexy. Pulling the material up between her thighs and yanking it back and forth is not.
14) BEING OBSESSED WITH THE VAGINA. Although most men can find the clitoris without maps, they still believe that the vagina is where it’s all at. No sooner is your hand down there than you’re trying to stuff stolen banknotes up a chimney. This is okay in principle, but if you’re not careful, it can hurt – so don’t get carried away. It’s best to pay more attention to her clitoris and the exterior of her vagina at first, then gently slip a finger inside her and see if she likes it.
15) MASSAGING TOO ROUGHLY. You’re attempting to give her a sensual, relaxing massage to get her in the mood. Hands and fingertips are okay; elbows and knees are not.
16) UNDRESSING PREMATURELY. Don’t force the issue by stripping before she’s at least made some move toward getting your stuff off, even if it’s just undoing a couple of buttons.
17) TAKING YOUR PANTS OFF FIRST. A man in socks and underpants is the worst. Lose the socks fist.
18) GOING TOO FAST. When you get to the penis-in-vagina situation, the worst thing you can do is pump away like an industrial power tool – she’ll soon feel like an assembly-line worker made obsolete by your technology. Build up slowly, with clean, straight, regular thrusts.
19) GOING TOO HARD. If you bash your great triangular hip bones into her thigh or stomach, the pain is equal to two weeks of horseback riding
concentrated into a few seconds.
20) COMING TOO SOON. Every man’s fear. With reason. If you shoot before you see the whites of her eyes, make sure you have a backup plan to ensure her pleasure too.
21) NOT COMING SOON ENOUGH. It may appear to you that humping for an hour without climaxing is the mark of a sex god, but to her it’s more likely the mark of a numb vagina. At least buy some intriguing wall hangings, so she has something to hold her interest while you’re playing Marathon Man.
22) ASKING IF SHE HAS COME. You really ought to be able to tell. Most women make noise. But if you really don’t know, don’t ask.
23) PERFORMING ORAL SEX TOO GENTLY. Don’t act like a giant cat at a saucer of milk. Get your whole mouth down there, and concentrate on gently rotating or flicking your tongue on her clitoris.
24) NUDGING HER HEAD DOWN. Men persist in doing this until she’s eyeball-to-penis, hoping that it will lead very swiftly to mouth-to-penis. All women hate this. It’s about three steps from being dragged to a cave by their hair. If you want her to use her mouth, use yours; try talking seductively to her.
25) NOT WARNING HER BEFORE YOU CLIMAX. Sperm tastes like sea water mixed with egg white. Not everybody likes it. When she’s performing oral sex, warn her before you come so she can do what’s necessary.
26) MOVING AROUND DURING FELLATIO. Don’t thrust. She’ll do all the moving during fellatio. You just lie there. And don’t grab her head.
27) TAKING ETTIQUETTE ADVISE FROM PORN MOVIES. In X-rated movies, women seem to love it when men ejaculate over them. In real life, it just means more laundry to do.
28) MAKING HER RIDE ON TOP FOR AGES. Asking her to be on top is fine. Lying there grunting while she does all the hard work is not. Caress her gently, so that she doesn’t feel quite so much like the captain of a schooner. And let her have a rest.
29) ATTEMPTING ANAL SEX AND PRETENDING IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. This is how men earn a reputation for not being able to follow directions. If you want to put it there, ask her first. And don’t think that being drunk is an excuse.
30) TAKING PICTURES. When a man says, “Can I take a photo of you?” she’ll hear the words “__to show my buddies.” At least let her have custody of them.
31) NOT BEING IMAGINATIVE ENOUGH. Imagination is anything from drawing patterns on her back to pouring honey on her and licking it off. Fruit, vegetables, ice and feathers are all handy props; hot candle wax and permanent dye are a no no.
32) SLAPPING YOUR STOMACH AGAINT HERS. There is no less erotic noise. It’s as sexy as a belching contest.
33) ARANGING HER IN STUPID POSES. If she wants to do advanced yoga in bed, fine, but unless she’s a Romanian gymnast, don’t get too ambitious. Ask yourself if you want a sexual partner with snapped hamstrings.
34) LOOKING FOR HER PROSTATE. Read this carefully: Anal stimulation feels good for men because they have a prostate. Women don’t.
35) GIVING LOVE BITES. It is highly erotic to exert some gentle suction on the sides of the neck, if you do it carefully. No woman wants to have to wear turtlenecks and jaunty scarves for weeks on end.
36) BARKING INSTRUCTIONS. Don’t shout encouragement like a coach with a megaphone. It’s not a big turn-on.
37) TALKING DIRTY. It makes you sound like a lonely magazine editor calling a 1-900 line. If she likes nasty talk, she’ll let you know.
38) NOT CARING WHETHER SHE COMES. You have to finish the job. Keep on trying until you get it right, and she might even do the same for you.
39) SQUASHING HER. Men generally weigh more than women, so if you lie on her a bit too heavily, she will turn blue.
40) THANKING HER. Never thank a woman for having sex with you. Your bedroom is not a soup kitchen.

source: http://www.jokebuddha.com/joke/0_Ways_Men_Fail_in_Bed#ixzz1hcDTgGH4

Sensitive girls ‘have better sex’

Sensitive girls ‘have better sex’

12/05/2009

Women who are in touch with their feelings have more fun in bed, research suggests.

A study of 2,035 female twins showed those with greater emotional intelligence had more and better orgasms.

Emotional intelligence (EI) is the ability to monitor and manage feelings and emotions in oneself and others.

The findings suggest that having low EI puts woman at risk of female orgasmic disorder, one of the most common sexual problems suffered by women. Up to 30 per cent of women find it difficult or impossible to climax.

Prof Tim Spector, director of the Twin Research Department at King’s College London and co-author of the study, said: “This study will help enormously in the development of behavioural and cognitive therapies to improve women’s sex lives.”

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/top-stories/2009/05/12/sensitive-girls-have-better-sex-115875-21351682/

Answers to Your Embarrassing Sex Questions

Odours, Orgasms, STDs: Answers to Your Embarrassing Sex Questions

|Q: “Is there something you can eat to taste amazing down there?”

Well, I don’t know about amazing, but there are some things that will make you taste lighter — or better, if you will. Take a cue from your vegetarian friends: Fruits and vegetables like pineapple and celery give your vaginal fluids a milder taste. Meat, fish, and dairy products, on the other hand, make them taste stronger. So do garlic, spices, and caffeine. Drinking a lot of water actually helps flush out any possible offenders. Using flavored lubricants is another way to lighten the taste. Just make sure they don’t stray too far into the vagina, where they can irritate you.

Excerpted from “What the Yuck? The Freaky and Fabulous Truth About Your Body” by Roshini Raj, M.D., with Lisa Lombardi.

Q: “Is it true that some women just smell fishier?”

A word about vaginal odor: All women have it. It’s completely natural and not something to stress about. In fact, most men consider the scent arousing. That said, if you notice that you smell unusually fishy or particularly strong post-sex, or after washing your vagina with soap, you might have bacterial vaginosis or BV — an easily treated infection caused by an imbalance of normal vaginal bacteria. You should see your gynecologist, who can test for it and, if you come up positive, prescribe an antibiotic that should clear it up. One final note: While BV isn’t a sexually transmitted disease (STD), vaginal odor can sometimes be a sign of one, so your gynecologist may want to rule out that, too.

Q: “Anything I can do to prevent getting a vaginal infection?”

Some habits definitely up your odds. Here are three healthy moves to help keep you healthy:
Don’t douche. You may have heard this before, but your vagina is self-cleaning, so there’s no need to ever douche. Doing so can actually disrupt the natural harmony of your vaginal flora and put you at risk for another unpleasant infection.
Wear all-cotton undies. The all-cotton kind lets the air flow better than synthetics and keep moisture (which breeds bacteria) to a minimum. If you’re prone to BV or yeast infections, it’s also wise to swear off thongs.
Sleep commando. Forgoing panties at night helps air out your vagina, making it harder for bacteria to multiply and set up shop.

Q: “Can I catch his cold from going down on him?”
We catch the viruses that cause the common cold by breathing in airborne droplets or touching our noses or mouths with contaminated fingers (think: shared door handles). So technically, just performing oral sex on him shouldn’t get you sick. But if he touched his penis with germy hands, and then you put your mouth there, you could definitely come down with the sniffles. In general, being in close contact with someone who has a cold ups your chances of inhaling some of their virus, so if you can’t afford to get sick at the moment, keep things strictly platonic until your guy is feeling better.

Q: “Can he catch my cold from oral sex?”
Same story here: He won’t get it from being down there, but if you’ve touched your vagina with contaminated hands, he could very well pick up your virus from oral sex. My advice? No getting hot and heavy while one of you is hot and sneezy.

Q: “I had sex while I had a yeast infection. Could I have passed it on to my man?”

It’s possible, but not likely. Yeast infections don’t generally spread person to person. We get one when there’s an overgrowth of the yeast that’s normally present in our own genital area. What causes yeast to multiply? Antibiotics (because they kill the good down-there bacteria that keep this fungus in check), a depressed immune system, and a warm, damp groin (from too-tight clothes, say, or synthetic fabrics). But let’s say you have loads of yeast and then have sex. You could spread the yeast to his penis. If he notices itching and redness, he should see his doctor and get a prescription antifungal treatment. While yeast infections are generally mild in men, he needs to zap it because if he doesn’t, he’ll just ping-pong it back to you.

Q: “Can he thrust so hard he does damage in there?”

Even if the sex gets a little rough, he probably won’t do any real damage. But the friction from his penis rubbing against your vagina could cause abrasions or tears in the delicate vaginal tissue, which is no fun. You’re more likely to suffer from this unpleasant side effect if you’re dry, so make sure you’re fully aroused before moving on to the main event. Add lube as an extra precaution. If you feel any pain or discomfort while he’s thrusting, slow him down to prevent more damage. Naturally, if it hurts a lot, stop the action completely. And if you experience pain or bleeding post-romp, take a sex sabbatical until everything has healed. Otherwise, you risk more pain and permanent scarring.

Q “Is semen fattening?”
Not at all. The average ejaculate is about the size of a teaspoon. It contains sperm, sugars, proteins and water — and only about 7 calories. You’ll burn all those calories (and more) just rolling in the hay.

Q: “If I have a cold sore and go down on him, can I give him herpes?”

Okay, let’s break this down because it can be confusing. There are two types of herpes. Cold sores (or oral herpes) are very common and are usually caused by Herpes Simplex 1 (HSV-1), while genital herpes are somewhat rarer and usually caused by Herpes Simplex 2 (HSV-2). But you can get HSV-1 (aka cold sores) on your genitals and HSV-2 (“genital” herpes) in the mouth. So yes, you could spread herpes to your partner during oral sex. Your best bet: Hold off on the oral action at least until the sore has disappeared. Technically you can still transfer the herpes anytime, even when there isn’t an outbreak, so the only really safe move is to have oral sex with a condom or dental dam.

Q: “The condom slipped off him during sex. He fished it out, but do I have to worry about pregnancy?”

You sure do. If the condom breaks or slips off, the sperm are free to go looking for an egg to fertilize. So if you don’t want to get pregnant, talk to your doctor ASAP about the morning-after pill. This treatment is available over the counter, but there are a few different types, so ask your doc which one is best for you. Also, since condoms are not foolproof (as you now know), you may want to also ask your doctor about backup birth control. It sounds like a hassle, but if you really want to avoid pregnancy, it’s smart to use two forms of protection.

Q: “This is embarrassing, but he wants to use the back door. Can that cause GI problems?”

Whenever a patient asks me this question (and yep, I’ve heard even this one before), I say this: Anal sex usually isn’t a problem. But there are some potential concerns you need to be aware of before green-lighting this request. Because the anal sphincter is tight and there is less lubrication in the anus (it doesn’t produce the natural lubrication your vagina does), anal intercourse can cause tiny abrasions, or tears, in the anus. Also, stool bacteria are present so there’s a chance those abrasions and tears may become infected. My advice: Use lots and lots of lube. Plus, if this is a newer partner, don’t forget the condom. Though you won’t get pregnant this way, STDs can be transmitted through anal sex. Also, empty your bowels beforehand. And have your partner wash his penis before going from anal to vaginal sex and vice versa.

Q: “I have orgasms all the time — when I’m at the gym working out or just sitting at my desk. Am I a freak?”

Lucky girl! Many women have trouble having orgasms at all, and here you are having them all the time. Life isn’t fair! But seriously, spontaneous orgasms (those without direct genital stimulation) are not uncommon. Some women get them by thinking erotic thoughts. Others have them while doing things that indirectly stimulate the genital area, like riding a bike, tightening pelvic muscles (like when holding in pee), sneezing, etc. Some antidepressants can cause this happy side effect, though the effect usually wears off a few weeks after starting the meds. Don’t want to peak in public? If your climaxes are a result of friction (like during a workout), double up on your underwear or wear a pad to desensitize the area.

Q: “Sometimes when I’m getting hot and heavy, I’ll suddenly let out a vaginal fart.”

I guarantee this has happened to almost every woman at some point in her life, and it’s mortifying. But it has nothing to do with you or your vagina; it’s just a natural by-product of intercourse. During sex, air flows into the spaces around your genitals, especially any new spaces that are created from your vaginal tissues moving around as you get aroused. Sometimes, when these pockets of air escape, it makes what sounds like a fart. This air has had no contact with your colon, so there’s no odor. What can you do to avoid having a flatulent you-know-what? Use plenty of lube. Also, avoid doggie style: It causes a lot of air to flow in, upping your odds of letting loose with an embarrassing noise.

Q: “My husband has warts on his hands. Can I catch them if he touches my nether zone?”

There is a risk, but it’s a slight one. Hand and genital warts are caused by different strains of the human papillomavirus, or HPV. (There are more than 100 strains, and most are actually harmless.) But on rare occasions, the strain of HPV that causes warts like the ones on your husband’s hands can indeed lead to warts elsewhere. To be safe, ask your man to wear thin latex gloves during any “play” until his warts are gone. (He can treat them with over-the-counter salicylic acid medication or see a dermatologist for an even faster cure.) Even after his warts are gone, make sure you don’t have any cuts, nicks, or open sores down there — these can spread HPV even when all warts have cleared up. Incidentally, the HPV vaccine is no help in this case: It protects against separate strains that can cause cervical cancer.

Q: “Can head lice migrate to down below?”
No, it’s almost as if there’s an invisible boundary of sorts on your body. Head lice can get into the hair on your head — all of it: scalp, eyebrows, eyelashes, facial hair. But they won’t go any farther south. Pubic lice (you know — “crabs”) can migrate north to your armpits and even your eyelashes, but not your scalp. Despite what we’d like to think, head lice are extremely common, especially among children. But pubic lice are a totally different bug; they’re considered an STD because they’re transmitted through genital-to genital contact. You can treat both with over-the-counter products.

Q: “I have an itchy bump in my pubic area. How can I tell if it’s a bite or an STD?”

It could be a herpes outbreak, but if it doesn’t develop into a painful or itchy blister within a few days, it’s probably not. Herpes blisters also tend to show up in clusters, not as isolated spots. If you’re worried, though, make an appointment with your gyno to get it checked out, and avoid sex in the meantime. The spot could also be one of several minor things — from a pimple (uncommon but not unheard of) to a type of painless cyst called Bartholin’s gland cyst, which sometimes shows up on the vagina. If you suspect a cyst, it’s nothing to worry about, but do have it drained by a doctor. Don’t poke at it yourself because it could get infected. Another culprit could be an obstructed hair follicle, which is sometimes caused by shaving. Washing the area carefully and drying it well should help free the impacted hair, but if you begin to see signs of infection (the spot widens or develops a white tip), see your doctor or dermatologist to have the hair removed.

Q: “Why do I get a headache after sex? Am I allergic to orgasm?”

The root cause of your headache — called a “coital headache”– probably isn’t your orgasm but the sex itself. Your body is reacting to the fact that sex is a strenuous activity. Or it could be from the increased muscle activity and dilation of blood vessels around your neck and brain as a result of the sex. I would suggest taking an OTC anti-inflammatory like ibuprofen or a doctor-prescribed migraine med 30 minutes before hitting the sheets. If these headaches get persistently worse or if you start having them at other times, bring them up to your physician. She might want to check for possible medicine complications or even run a few tests to rule out other problems.

Q: “Can I get HIV from oral sex?”
Yes. Although the risk is less than with anal or vaginal sex, there have been cases of transmission through oral sex. Infected blood from the mouth can enter your body through the lining of the vagina. You can also get HIV by performing oral sex because semen or pre-seminal fluid (the little bit of juice on the penis tip) contains the virus. Your risk goes up if you have any sores or cuts in your mouth or vagina (which you may have without even realizing it) and if he ejaculates in your mouth. So it’s best to use condoms or dental dams or make sure your partner gets tested before you engage in this kind of intimate behavior.

Q: “Is it dangerous to ‘play’ with food during sex? Anything safe to put in my vagina?”

The honest truth? It’s best not to put anything up there. Vaginal bacteria love to feed on sugar, so foods with a high-sugar content (chocolate sauce, sweet whipped cream, honey, fruit… all the traditional sex-play staples) are a no-no. If anything remains post-sex or isn’t washed away quickly, the bacteria, loving their new source of nutrient, will start eating and multiplying and might cause an overgrowth of bacteria, leading to infection. In addition, the sugar can throw off the pH of your vagina, increasing your chances of a yeast infection. Another avoid-at-all-costs: oily foods. They can trap bacteria and are hard to wash off (yuck). If you really want to mix food and fooling around, just feed each other sexy foods like chocolate-covered strawberries before getting down to business.

Q: “This is mortifying, but I’ve never had an orgasm. Are some people just incapable?”

Unless you’ve just recently gone from being able to orgasm to not — or you suspect something is interfering with your ability to climax, such as pain during sex or medicines lowering your drive — there’s probably no physical reason you can’t orgasm. While we see women in movies who peak with vaginal sex, in real life, it’s just not always that way. The vagina isn’t very sensitive to stimulation; the clitoris, which is our version of the penis, needs to be stimulated for orgasm, and the more direct the stimulation the better. So ask your man for oral sex or manual stimulation of the clitoris: Even if it doesn’t send you over the edge, it should feel amazing, which is really the point, right? Better yet, figure out how to flip your switch on your own. Getting hands-on with your body is a great way to figure out what you love and what you don’t.

Q: “Lately I’m sore and itchy after sex. Could I be allergic to condoms?”

It’s possible but not all that likely. Latex is in tons of things besides condoms (Band-Aids, dishwashing gloves, balloons, sanitary pads) so if you were allergic to latex, you’d probably know already. What is more likely is you’re allergic to another part of the condom — the spermicide or the lubricant. Try a different brand of condom or use one without a lubricant and supply your own, preferably a water-based one because they’re way less irritating. That soreness and itchiness could also be a sign of an early-stage yeast infection or bacterial vaginosis (a bacterial infection of the vagina). These are usually also accompanied by discharge, so if your symptoms progress, see your gyno. She’ll prescribe either an antifungal medication or antibiotic to help clear it up.

Q: “I’m sexually active, so shouldn’t I know by now if I am allergic to semen?”

Surprisingly, you might not. This allergy is usually a reaction to a specific protein in a specific man’s semen. So it’s completely possible that you wouldn’t have had a problem with other guys but just happen to react to your current man.

Q: “Are there foods I can eat to put me in the mood?”

The Frisky 5: Libido-Boosting Foods
Almonds: These heart-healthy nuts are rich in zinc, a mineral that boosts libido.
Seafood: Oysters and other kinds of seafood also serve up zinc. And fish with omega-3 fatty acids like salmon keep your blood pumping and your heart primed for romps.
Avocados: Avocados boast potassium, which helps regulate a woman’s thyroid gland, in turn increasing libido.
Dark chocolate: Some research shows it ups feel-good chemicals in your brain, putting you in the mood for you-know-what.
Asparagus: This veggie serves up a hit of vitamin E, helping your body pump out testosterone.

I got Herpes!!